Hearty congratulations to Saikat Sengupta, Arti Bhatia, Jaishree Gurnani,Rupali Chadha Bose and Romika Wadehra for sharing their views on the topic –‘What is the best way to say ‘No’ to a child’. Their views have been chosen toget featured on our blog. Do read and share your views.
For the children below 5 yrs: If it is found that the child is intending tostress upon an issue, which is not good for the child, parents should try todivert the child’s attention to a safer and interesting option. However, forthat we need to know the interests, likings / dis-likings of the child.
For children above 5 yrs.: Parents (both father & mother) shouldmaintain a level playing field with the child and the child should haveconfidence on the parents. Synchronized unistrikeity of parenting, by both theparents, is very important to manage a situation where telling “NO” is requiredwithout uttering that word. By the time the child reaches 6/7 yrs he / sheshould be groomed up in a fashion by which the child has an idea of the likings/ dislikings of his / her parents, the family routine, etc. However, even thena situation may occur where parents find that the child needs to be told “NO’,then parents should give a priority to the situation and seat with the childconveniently to sort out the issue upon discussion showing the pros & consand giving alternatives, if any.
Yes it is very true saying ‘No’ to children is not at all easy, there aretwo reasons for it one is we don’t want to hurt them and second is at timesthey don’t understand why they are being told ‘No’. We need to understand if wetell them…’No’ without giving proper reasoning they are not going to easilyaccept it….smaller kids may do so under force or feeling helpless but elderones (teenagers) would retaliate and possibly do the act without ourknowledge….therefore we need to be very patient with children and give themproper reasoning for every negation…like making them aware of the consequences.We also need to give them space and trust them for certain decisions and shouldnot always be negative..!!
Yes, of course, sometimes it is difficult to say NO to our children, butjust think, that, is it easy for us to listen NO?
So, it is very difficult for our children to listen NO without getting properreason. I think that saying NO by giving them exact reason and that too withshowing faith in our children can make things easier. So have full faith in yourchildren and involve them in your decision, make them smile and win theirheart.
Yes I agree it’s difficult for a parent to say no to a child, but again itssubjective to the situation and demand, as parents we can explain the reason ofsaying NO at a time when the child is little ready to listen .. but gain I feelrepeated NOs will lose its meaning to the child he will not learn the value ofit so at times giving explanation or diverting the mind to something else willhelp, if we have to save our NOs to be obeyed.
When you find that the demands are unreasonable do not hesitate to say NO.The best way is to say NO and explain the reason with logic and politelyexplain to the child. Every child can understand parents’ language whatever maybe the age. Then be steadfast on what you said and do not budge under pressurefrom the child. Although he will try his level best .that is the time whichwould matter. Child actually knows the upper limit of parents’ patience. Oncehe understands that his tantrums are not going to have any effect, he willmellow down.