By Ranjana Tripathi:
Every child is different, and every child has a different upbringing. No twochildren can have the same types of growing up, even two siblings. So what doesthat mean? It shows it’s the environment, parent’s involvement and child’s ownnature what matters in his behavior and growth. Environment should be stable,very positive and conducive. Now it hardly matters whether we have a jointfamily or a nuclear family.
Yes, but there is always two sides of a coin in the same way every aspecthas its own advantages and disadvantages. We are three in a family .me, myhusband and my 8 years old son. We both were working, had to keep my child incrèche in initial stage till one and a half years. My parents and in laws werenot staying with us. Due to hectic job schedule, we were not able to make tripsto our in laws place. But whenever we would visit my son would get irritated asthere were lots of people visiting. Sharing also was an issue with him.
I took one year break from my career when he started going to school. Atthat moment I was alone whole day with him and I could see the differences inhim… he made good friends and wanted to share and play with them also he becamea bit more confident as he used to see me at home. I have a nature of showeringlots of love and affections through hugs and kisses that did change him andinstilled confidence in him.
Again when he was 3 years old I joined back office and had a full time maidwith him. My contribution was often calling at home talking to him when hecomes back from school. Taking care of what he eats and does after returningfrom school. And whenever reached home I used to sit with him and talk to him.He was doing well, in academics, and also he had by then cultivated goodhabits, manners, and also discipline. My work was not affecting his growth.
He made friends in building used to play with him. Once I noticed he wasbecoming very emotional and sentimental which no doubt is one of the maincharacteristic of me and my hubby. If there were other family members he wouldhave overcome that nature very fast, but since he was growing and stayingalone, I had to ensure that I understand his feelings handle him and make himunderstand about different human nature and how to handle them. In short injoint family children gets less attention so they become very outspoken andbold, but in nuclear the parents have to put more efforts to get the same.
In joint family the discouraging parties if the parents are not satisfiedfrom each other, or mother is suffering silently due to heavy work load, orthere is politics it will not do any good to the child, it’s the same fornuclear also. Ultimately it all depends what environment we r providing be italone or with a family.
We r still nuclear, but my son is a well developed boy gets appreciationfrom my in laws even. I made him busy in boy’s kind of activities. Heunderstands all relations and their importance. Knows how much to give inrelation and friendship. Have innocence, plays, and shares and enjoys hischildhood. But since he is a child he will face lots of events in his lifewhere he will need our constant support and guidance which we should be open toit.