By Preeti Jain:
Joint family or a nuclear family, in India, the land of culture and unity, arewell manifested in the structure of society, indeed in the smaller unit of asociety i.e. family. I live in a joint family where my father in law is thehead of the family. Love, care, and affection are the most prominent humanvalues, which are responsible for maintaining these bonds of relationshipswithin my joint family. Learn to love, to earn respect, is the key to haveharmonious and never-ending relationships. Mutual respect and love are biggestvalues a joint family can offer and my child has been brought up in safe andsecure hands of his grandparents .I am proud and really very happy that he hasall this values especially the value of caring and feeling to empathize withothers. The emotional security has made him stand out amongst others The jointfamily has its own virtues and vices, virtues which overpower the nuclearfamily. The biggest demerit when I scold him for studies they create unduetensions scolding me or shielding the child. This is the time when I find mychild is a manipulator if parents scold he finds consolation with grandparents.And hence I m a looser. At times I have tried to explain them but all in vain.Nearing eighties it is difficult to change them but this is a not a seriousproblem. At times when I want independence want a life of my own I do crave fornuclear family. Nuclear family system has its own advantages, which exactly arenot advantages but the ways out to the problems in joint family Sometimes,being a part of nuclear family may also allow parents to think and plan fortheir children’s future without having to worry about anything except theirvery own problems, not at all related to anyone else. My child has adjustedwell to the joint family but as he is growing he needs space and grumbles attimes when pointed or told no’s for petty things but he still respects and givevent to their feelings.
The advantage of the joint family system outweighs the disadvantages. In thecycle of life, we will certainly reach old age and will face the same problemsas one’s parent or grandparents have undergone. So, old parents andgrandparents should not be deprived of the love and care of the near and dearones.